Benjamin pours his money and energy generously into charity. He is just an IT Specialist for a virile IT company in Abuja but he makes it a duty to pump in 20% of his monthly income into an orphanage in Abuja.
Weekends, Benjamin spares copious time preaching love and hope to a random mass of people atdifferent motor parks in the city. He also lavishes his time in the company of forgotten children at the orphanage he shares his earnings with. The forgotten children all call him Daddy. They have seen his face, shared his warmth, and listened to his songs and stories long enough to accept his generous paternity. Benjamin is a raptured soul in the heavenly council of the orphanage’s children.
Benjamin once donated a kidney to his cousin who had a complete kidney shut down. It was at a precarious time in the life of his cousin. No one in the family or anywhere was willing to part with a spare of the sieving engines in their bodies. But Benjamin threatened death and volunteered to have one halve of his filtrating machine yanked off and given to his cousin. The remedy organ was compatible with the cousin’s chassis. Benjamin saved a soul!
If selflessness was the ticket to heaven, then he has booked for himself a first-class jolly ride to it.
However, Benjamin has an affliction as it is considered in this part of the world. He is gay!
My long friendship with him started at church. It was at the end of one of his resplendent singing bouts. I made a move to the front row to “sound” him a warm praise. He gestured benignly without a blight of self consciousness. After church he sidled up to me and said, “I like you”. I was flustered, but I did not read a “gay” meaning into it. It was much after some time that my consciousness fully embraced the undertone of the expression. However, I did not succumb to his amorous overtures, but I became his friend and that was when I got to know the forging of selfless soul.
He tells me he is unkindly afflicted by homosexuality. And that he has done everything in the book to cure his affliction, but it grows stronger. He struggles with it, and every time he lurches forward out of the “cage” of homosexuality, he relapses. He is tempted to think he is born this way.
The demonisation of homosexuality in Nigeria has made him a demon. No matter how much he gives or labours for the poor, he is a demon. All his good deeds do not count as long as he is homosexual. He belongs to the class of the scorned and cursed. He knows the penalty for coming out of the closet to announce his unorthodox sexuality, and that is why he remains a closet gay, grieving under.
One remarkable thing about Benjamin that jabs the mind is his intellectual sophistication. He is well-versed in a wide array of subjects that are not in his professional domain. Nothing seems to be beyond his ken. He can hold a disciplined, intellectual conversation for long navigating away from clichés and platitudes. His sexual orientation does not affect his intellectual capacity in any way.
For God, Benjamin’s love is mixed with shame for he believes he crucifies his son Jesus every time he indulges in gay pleasure. But he cannot help himself.
What this piece calls for is a bit of humanity; the humanity in us that will break the dark covering of violent intolerance of homosexuals in Africa. Homosexuality should not be a taboo subject. It should be out in the open receiving jabs and nods of seminal discussion and understanding. And truly, if we must demonize anything in Africa, it should be corruption.
In all, if we are searching for demons in Africa we will find them in us, yes in us who hate other people for their religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.
Let our humanity speak!
Fredrick Nwabufo is a writer and a poet. He writes from Abuja.
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